Reality Check...Part 2

REALITY: You will never be more terrified, excited or aflurry with as many emotions as you will be when you get ready to give birth to your child.

I'm crazy. I admit to it. I went to work, in spite of my better judgement, and was going along fine. Then came 5:45. And, an almost heart stopping braxton-hicks contraction. (I.E. False Labor) Oh, its fine, i'm cool. Almost an hour labor another heart stopping contraction. Come the third one in the 7:00 hour and it hits me...I am in the early stages of labor. Grrreeeeaaaaat!

Terrified. I'm going to completely mess up my child and destroy him some way or another. I don't know how, I just know I will. Oh sure, I've babysat. I worked in the kids camp at the YMCA. I took care of the boy's nephew all last year from 2 months on. But, i'm about to become a mom. Why in the world would God let ME become a mom?! I'm a walking disaster case. I'm selfish. I've only cared about my career before this point. My life will never be the same EVER AGAIN!

Excited. Oooh, he's finally almost here! Probably 24-36 hours at most! I finally will get to see my lil jellybean! I hope he's cute! I wonder if he'll have a lot of hair like me. Do I have everything? Did I take care of everything? I need my checklists! Do his laundry! Hell, maybe I should do my laundry! EEEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!

Anger. I need more time. Who the hell does this kid think he is? I'm not ready. The boy's not ready. WE are not ready for this! How dare he! (This emotion really only lasts about 5 seconds when you remind yourself its not your kids' fault he's coming into the world.)

Its all there. All these emotions. Spaz attack central. As of this point, we're estimating i've been in labor for just over 12 hours today. I'm still at home, obviously. They don't want me to go in until my contractions are 5 minutes apart for an hour. Right now, i'm at 23-25 minutes apart an hour. OMG! This is gonna take way too effing long. But, we are hitting the home stretch.