I'm a slacker...

(Originally started in March. Prime example of slackerdom...)

I admit it. Don't hold it against me, I love all 3 of you who read my blog...seriously! But honestly, I've been well, busy. And grumpy, which really doesn't bode well for strong blog entries about adventures in motherhood or adventures in life. It mostly just bodes for whiny complaints about the weather and how unfair life is. I'd rather write about the mostly good, with a lil bit of bad in it.

I still haven't found a legit job yet. Its frustrating. I've been out of work since January. I'm not a fan of being out of work. Without the job, I am much less likely to accomplish things anywhere else apparently. So, i've gotten a bit messy. And put some weight back on.

(real time update 5/19/11)

I still haven't found a legit job yet. I've gone back to my crappy ass, lame ass former job b.c. (before child). Yes, I've gone back because of my finances. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm shallow about money. I like money. I like having money. I like being able to pay my bills. And buy my kid clothes. And buy some a.c. (after child) clothes for myself, because I need them. Oh, and food. Food is good.

I don't know what frustrates me more some days...the fact that the economy has sucked just about as long as I've been writing this blog, or the fact that the super awesome skills I have, can't seem to translate to a job that is worth, well, me. Yes, I think I am above fast food. I went to college. I have no business in fast food. If you want the honest truth, if it wasn't for the fact that the store manager is my mother in law, I probably wouldn't have the job at all and would either be working at the radio station making pennies or would be completely jobless. None of this, makes me feel any better about my situation.

I have put weight back on. According to a friend's scale, less than I thought, but more than what I'm happy with. This ticked me off so bad, that I'm forcing myself to focus on what I did so differently a year and a half ago, that not only allowed me to drop 20 pounds before I got pregnant with Eli, but also allowed me to not put on an extreme amount of weight while I was pregnant. I know a lot of it had to do with the fact that I developed Gestational Diabetes, which made me much more observant about what I was putting in my body, because the best way to control diabetes in general, is diet and exercise. So, I was really good about watching what I ate. But, now, there's no baby inside of me to make me feel better if I eat fruit and veggies, rather than 15 cupcakes. (Not that I've ever ate that much in one sitting...i'm just saying!) My motivation, most of the time, is helping others, which is fine, until I forget to help myself. Plus, if I expect Eli to continue to eat well, like he is now, I need to do the same.

I'm a slacker in other departments too. I have about 3 weeks worth of pictures on my Nikon that I need to upload, edit and send out to people/print. I'm slacking financially. I'm a slacker. I need someone, who is an adult, to kick my ass into shape. Or, you know, just take responsibility for myself and kick my own ass into shape. Although...

I'm not a complete slacker. Eli is well taken care of. (Check mark, Ray and I.) I just conned/convinced my mommy friend Ashton to do a 2 mile walk with me, which is going to raise money for CHKD (Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters), which will benefit our kids and our waistlines! So, that will be good training for the Susan G. Komen Foundation walk I want to do in October. And, today I drank a ton of water. (It was hot. Dehydration is bad.) Ooh, and ate a mango. (So worth the work!) And, came up with a good idea for what to bring to a Memorial Day cookout. (Grilled Shrimp Salad, yuuuuuum!) Ok, i'm going to pat myself on the back, kinda.

I'm not a total slacker. I just need to work on prioritizing. At least I know what my problem is! (Now, to solve it. Drat!)

Oh, fine...

So, maybe I have more than just the goal of being happy for 2011...sue me, I'm very adamant about improving my life, in small, yet accomplishable ways. Judge away. Its fine. I'll never judge YOU! (Seriously, I won't.)

Anyways, I'm intent on doing a few things this year.

1. Finding a legit career/job...Seriously.

I'm not fooling around with this crap anymore. I'm tired of working crappy retail/food service jobs because "I need the money". I can't stay at the radio station anymore, because they have made it ABUNDANTLY clear that where I'm at is where they are leaving me, even if I stand on my head. So, I just have to figure out what I would be satisfied with doing for the next 2-5 years, while I figure out my next educational move and Eli is still tiny. For the time being, I'm working on getting some kind of administrative/office job. Yes, I know everyone in the world finds them boring. I don't. I actually find that kind of job RELATIVELY unstressful, so it only makes sense to work in the field, make decent money and be able to provide for my child.

2. Treat my body like the temple its meant to be...

I'm bound and determined to walk the Susan G. Komen Foundation walk in October. And, yes the only times I run are when I'm running away from something coming after me, so no, you are not ever going to see me run a marathon, well, ever. I'll bike for a cure. I'll walk for a cure. I might even consider crawling for a cure. Plus, I'm continuing the groundbreaking changes I make in 2010 of improving my eating habits (as I sit here nibbling on an apple and a clementine.) I like the fact that I lost weight last year, and would like to be able to continue to lose weight and get fit and be able to play with my kid as he grows. It would be cool to not be exhausted. I'm only 28 after all...

3. Re-ignite my relationship...with photography...

I for the life of me cannot explain to myself why I walked away from my passion of photography a few years ago. Except that outside factors frustrated me so bad, that I stupidly put down my camera, like a fool. I love photography. Have for a very long time. Of course, this is also the year, that I'm purchasing my super cool, nifty neato camera that I've had my eye on for the last 2 1/2 months. After that, I may go ahead and start working on my side job of being a freelance photographer. But, the year will mostly be spent getting cuddly with the camera and taking random jobs from friends and getting a portfolio together. You know, and taking 3 billion pictures of Eli, naturally.

4. Learning how to be a super awesome mom...

Being a mom is a 24 hour a day job. Anyone who has told you otherwise, has not gotten up with a 3 month old who DOESN'T understand the concept that you are supposed to sleep when its dark. He's so cute though, so I don't hold it against him. But, seriously, I am looking forward to reading my books, learning about being a mom and trying to find the instruction manual for Eli...I know he's just hiding it from me. He thinks he's so funny.

5. Plan a wedding...

Ohmygah, I'm gonna die before its all over with, but yes, I'm attempting to plan my wedding. Planning the wedding is more stressful than the event or even the marriage in my opinion. I'm looking forward to the day itself, but I will be glad when we nail down a lot of these "silly" details and have the money for them too. It'll be good. I already have a lot of ideas and I'm getting my wedding planning book and a magazine or two. After I have my job nailed down, or at the very least by next month, I'm making an appointment to go try on dresses and see if what I see on the Internet is actually what I want to wear or if I'm just gonna go for a white or beige sheet and wrap myself 15000 times in ribbon with white flip flops. (Though I haven't completely thrown out the idea of wearing rhinestone encrusted flip flops yet...which my mother will roll her eyes out once she finds out about...) No tiaras. Lots of lilies (real and fake). Eli and his cousin Julie as ring bearer and flower girl. Oh, and designing my own centerpieces and invitations. ::claps excitedly::

Oh, 2011, I'm so happy you are here...here's to hoping everyone else's will be just as much fun. :)

Taking Stock of 2010...

Oh, lets face it...you always set out for bigger and better...so when it actually kind of happens, its hard to know what to do with it sometimes. You don't always accomplish everything you expect or hope to, but instead, I choose to focus on what did happen this year...

-I had a baby...

My adorable and sweet little Eli...

(Feel free to awwwwwwwwwwwww your head off...If you don't, there's something wrong with you, I don't care how biased I am...)

-In spite of having child, still lost 20 pounds...give or take...

This is just a prediction, but i'm pretty positive I did anyways...I know my double chin disappeared and my face is not as round. I take this as a positive step forward...:) And since I won't be going through pregnancy this year, i'm gonna shoot for an additional 25 pounds off the body...or at least better muscle mass...and continued better eating...

-I have more than 5 dollars in the bank!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssss!

-I have less stuff...

This is a good thing....less clutter = more time to think about other things...like my kid...

And best of all...

I'M ENGAGED!!!

Ummm, omg, I have something super sparkly on my finger...that's just crazy! :)

Goal for 2011...Happiness...unadulturated, ridiculous amounts of happiness...Yup, I like that plan...