Can't always get what you want...Thanks Mick and Keith...

Sometimes, just sometimes, I'm so exhausted that all I want to do is go hide in my room and not talk to anyone. Its rare but it happens.

I think this is gonna be one of those weeks for me. One of those weeks when I find people exhausting and I'm going to have to repeat to myself "You can't please all the people, all the time." Someone is just gonna have to be unhappy come the end of the week.

Here's the thing, I spend a lot of time worrying about people and what they think about me and the things I do and how I treat people. Which is why I go out of my way to treat people how I want to be treated. Cause I figure they'll return the same courtesy to me.

I don't know what world I live in...apparently the land of Cotton Candy clouds and chocolate mud. This week, I'm tired of bending over backwards and making sure everyone is hunky dory ok, etc. You know what, I get tired too. I get exhausted. I don't feel like being nice. I don't feel like talking. I don't feel like having fun. I want to sit in my room with my eyes closed, and just breathe. Hell, maybe even cry a little. Crying is very theraputic for me. It makes ME feel better.

I'm not trying to be self-centered or anything. And normally, I could care less. Normally, I just go with the flow and kind of float along, happy, content, good natured. I'm TIRED of being good natured. I don't feel like it. Everyone is allowed to take care of themselves, and I don't want to feel guilty for how I feel. You know what I want...I want a freaking massage, a cabana boy and a frickin Margarita. I want to do what I want. I'm 25 years old, why am I still worrying about what I can and can't do? Why?!

(I'll be better later. It just early in the morning and I don't feel like being at work today because I don't and I just want to lay in bed and face the wall. But, I'll be better later. Or at least I'll try to be.)