Finding something to be thankful for...

Its the most complicated thing to do. I mean, you're already having a crappy day, you hate everything and everyone pretty much, and then you get to the one day of the year when you are expected to actually be thankful for things. And all you want to do is to give everyone the finger and tell them "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!!!!" Which of course makes you look mean and crazy.

Anyways, things were different this Thanksgiving. I mean, since I was a little kid, Thanksgiving has pretty much consisted of the same thing...turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatos with mini marshmallows (burnt of course), homemade cranberries, discussions on what we are going to watch on the tv, fights over who stuck their finger in the tub of whip cream, a long argument over the use of the dish washer and who's rinsing and loading the dishes, trying to haul out 20 bags of trash, finding the wishbone and then passing out on the couch while watching football. Its always been the four of us, just around the house.

Then the boy's mom invited us next door for Thanksgiving dinner. My dad was pretty happy since he wouldn't have to cook a turkey and all that, I think me and my little brother were relieved that we wouldn't have to fight over the dishes. We agreed to do desserts (Mom's apple pie, yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum) and pretty much didn't worry about it too much.

Then the day came. And like everything else, we can't just have a normal discussion about things, we have to argue about it. I don't think we are happy sometimes, unless our voices are raised. Anyhoo, my mom was all antsy about going. My dad just wanted to get over there, and eat and nap and we kept reminding the lil bro to keep himself in check. Finally after we got over it, we went next door and sat down at with 20 other people. (The boy has a lot of family.) It was fun and i'm happy we did something different.

But, like always, I have a tendency to reflect on what i'm thankful for, mostly while i'm half asleep on the couch. I dunno, i'm trying to think of what I'm thankful for this year. At the very least, I am thankful I have a job, while it may be crappy and drive me crazy, I do have some kind of money coming in, so that is good. I still have my friends and family, though I may not see them much or talk to them often, I do have them. I have the boy in my life, who is a wonderful person, no matter how exasperating he is. I suppose i should be thankful for the thread of sanity I have in still left in my little brain. I mean that's the best I have right now though.

You are who or what you love, not what you eat.

Well, unless one of your what's includes food...then I suppose you could be what you eat in that regard. Maybe.

Anyways, I dunno, I've been thinking again. I probably shouldn't be allowed to think so often, it leads to bad things sometimes. Like the Great Boston Adventure '04...by the time that day was done, I ended up laughing hysterically to the point where I could not stop for 45 minutes. 45 minutes of laughter people...that's almost insanity right there. If I hadn't loved it so much.

I love to laugh. Ask any of my friends. I laugh at just about everything. If it could be found even remotely funny, I will probably laugh at it. I will probably laugh at you at some point, not to be mean, but because I found something funny. I mean, c'mon, I laugh at myself all the time, which gives me the total right to laugh at you when you trip, fall and not so gracefully slide across a floor or something.

I adore John Cusack. I think he is quite possibly my favorite actor in the whole entire wide world. He makes me laugh, I can relate to his movies, I love the fact that he is sarcastically funny in his movies and that he has the dry way of delivering lines which just makes it that much funnier. And he's so damn cute. I mean he's old, but he's cute. I could go on. But I won't.

Again, I love music. All kinds of music. Play it for me, if I haven't heard it, i'll give it a shot. If I have, I will be more than happy to listen again and again and again. Yeah, music = true love.

I love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Like, I have a serious problem when it comes to them. I mean, you could probably convince me to sell my car to you for a penny and a pack of Peanut Butter Cups. Well, probably not, but I would take it into serious consideration. Reese's Cups make my day. In the best way possible. Have a bad day, have a peanut butter cup, you'll be happier, swear!

I'm a total girl when it comes to this, but I love romantic comedies...in the worst way. Love Actually, Bridget Jones' Diary, When Harry Met Sally, The Princess Bride, oh I could go on. I mean when I was single and had the rare weekend to myself, I had no issue curling up with one of those movies, some peanut butter cups and my stuffed Snoopy and being content to watch them. Laugh, cry, and maybe, just maybe, secretly wish that something like that could happen to me. The truth is that I'm a romantic at heart. I really do believe in honest to god true love. Ugh, even I want to throw up a little, but its true. I'm way too optimistic to not think otherwise.

I love my friends. Adore them really. These are the people who have been there for me through thick and thin. The bad times and good. And vice versa. I am that girl who will go running to a friend with a bag of peanut butter cups, a good movie and a box of tissues going "Ok, what are we doing people?" when I find out someone is in trouble or sad or whatever. My friends are a big part of my life.

I love my family, as nuts as they drive me. And they drive me pretty bananas somedays. But, for all of that, I still love them. I love that we are able to talk to each other about stuff and that we can argue and get our things out, and then get over it and just be together. I love that they support me no matter what and that I can make decisions for myself, even if they want to fight me on it. I love that my little brother is a smarty pants, even if he is a pain.

I love the Peanuts characters. Specifically Snoopy. Snoopy is the best dog ever. If I could've owned a real Snoopy, I would've. But really I'll settle for any kind of dog. I don't care. I just want a puppy to love. :)

And...::drum roll::...I love a boy. Who saw that one coming? Not me. I feel like I've gotten hit by semi about 14 or 15,000 times. But I do. I don't know how or when it happened. It just did. And It makes ya feel different. Because most of those other things I've had for a really long time. Most, if not all of my life, or a good part of my life at least. But, there's always been things missing. Or something missing. And this, this thing with him, its so different from everything else I've ever experienced. Its real, its not something I have to question, or wonder about, or debate or analyze. I know he feels the same exact way. I don't have to worry about turning my head just so or batting my eyes in a certain way, or if I do this or that he'll notice me. Its so nice. And, that is just wonderful.

I don't really know why I wrote this, except maybe I'm just in that kind of mood today. The feeling loved kind of mood. :) Maybe this will help spread a little bit of love into your world today. Maybe the Beatles are right and "All You Need is Love".